I know I usually spend my posts discussing books and some integration about my private life in relation to books. Well this blog post will be mostly concentrated on my private life with minimal references to literature if any at all. There has been this temporary change of topic because I have just found out that my grandma has died. Her and I were really close. We spent our time talking about baking, cooking, crossword puzzles and working on really big puzzles. Also one of my favorite past times with her was exchanging family gossip because her and I were both really noisy and it always intrigued me what other family members were up to since most of them lived in other states. She was always active and busy and never acted her age. I still haven't cried over this as much as I have hoped to, probably because I lost one of my other favorite grandparents as of a decade ago. So I am pretty sure that is the only reason I am somewhat keeping it together and when I am socializing with people, I just tend to hold back the tears. Its just my life as of late has seemed like one bad event after another and this was just the icing on the cake.
Also on top of this I have found out that my brother might be moving back into the house because of family financial difficulties. It just feels like too much in a short period of time. I just want time to breath and relax, forget and repress. Even though, I dislike those who repress and always keep things in, the hypocrite that I am this seems like my safest bet for now as long as it does not have a negative effect on my health. I know I shouldn't repress and need to stop distracting myself at some point, but it just seems easier than grieving, crying and getting no sleep. If anyone has any coping tips or suggestions to deal with this kind of loss, and to get it all out, I will gladly listen to them.
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