Well it has been another week of loss, so to speak I just lost my dog lady to a dog tumor while simultaneously pissing a couple people off. I seem to be best at driving people away whether I mean to or not. I seem to suck at keeping friendships lately due to my own social awkwardness and heart break over losing my dog lady or any other losses this year. I think all this loss has made me depressed whether I want to be or not. However I just read a quote by Joseph Campbell that states:
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” I think this applies because things in my life have so not gone as planned I do not have a TA teaching job, or Drivers license and one person who used to be my closest friends is not talking to me. But I know that life is supposed to happen when one is making plans. I think maybe I am tired of making plans or being mildly depressed I think I would like things to work out for once.
This is kind of hard given that sometimes I am my own worst enemy when it comes to people and I tend to try to hard whether I am meaning to or not. Or I become my own self saboteur to my relationships, either way it is not a good thing. I know I need to let go, and that I should let go and not be this depressed, given that I am going back to not having had a good night sleep in days. I guess I have to have some glimmer of hope that things will moderately improve and that I will have something to look forward to in the future.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” I think this applies because things in my life have so not gone as planned I do not have a TA teaching job, or Drivers license and one person who used to be my closest friends is not talking to me. But I know that life is supposed to happen when one is making plans. I think maybe I am tired of making plans or being mildly depressed I think I would like things to work out for once.
This is kind of hard given that sometimes I am my own worst enemy when it comes to people and I tend to try to hard whether I am meaning to or not. Or I become my own self saboteur to my relationships, either way it is not a good thing. I know I need to let go, and that I should let go and not be this depressed, given that I am going back to not having had a good night sleep in days. I guess I have to have some glimmer of hope that things will moderately improve and that I will have something to look forward to in the future.
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