The world of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy...

    Well for research for an English composition curriculum I am working on with a science fiction twist, with the main books and shows being discussed of the science fiction nature I decided to reread The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy with the hope of using the novel in a paper prompt.  But, since I have not read this book in many of years I had forgotten how Douglas Adams likes to screw with his reader through using satire throughout his books. Actually, I didn't even notice it until I started reading research about his novels.
      The thing is though I have been obsessed with using Douglas Adams in an English composition books because his books while light hearted and satirical always make the reader think be it philosophically, why things are the way they are in terms of government, big business, or rethinking science fiction as a genre in general because he takes some of those tropes and turns them on their head.  He is the lewis caroll of science fiction writers though with his nonsensical take on things. 
          I say this because I will fully admit that the events that happen in Hitchhikers specifically are all absurd or people survive due to pure coincidence and being at the right place at the right time.  I say this because Arthur dent being saved by an acquaintance to survive the earths destruction, mice ruling earth, and earth being a computer that was going to determine the question to well everything.     
        Which oddly enough is what you are doing by the end of the book, (spoiler alert) all the characters while alive their is no finality or sense of ending and they are on to their next adventure in space.  But, I think even after all my research I think that is what Douglas Adams wants to do is question everything or to realize after much thought and contemplation that we flawed humans have very little control over our own lives. I say this because us readers could end up like arthur dent just wanting to have a simple day and maybe some tea and before you know it earth is destroyed so an intergalacitc highway can be built. 
        I think Adams is also making the point in his book that little events in our lives have a big impact or are related to bigger events in the long run.  I say this because in the book if Arthur had not known Ford Perfect he might never had been alive or had the opportunity to try to be killed so many times be it through Vogons or missiles. I don't know this is just a theory, I am just curious readers as to your thoughts on Douglas Adams book The Hithchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?

But I don't want to be a crop duster...

    I have recently seen the movie "Planes" with my dad, while the plot was pretty predictable and formulaic, but it was still an entertaining movie at large. Also, the main protagonist plane was told by most of his cohorts that he could never be a plane that races and only be a crop duster.  Lately I have been feeling this way in which I have been confined into who I am and what I am supposed to be and what I am supposed be doing with my life and time. In this example, the crop duster turned it around to be the fastest race plane in the nation.
    I have seemed to reach a point in my life where I have to prove to myself, my peers, and my family that I will not be a crop duster all my life.  That I can indeed be a race plane or any other plane of interest to you and be free from this confined box.  However, to do this I am going to have do more things on my own, and be more independent in the process. But this is history repeating myself I once had an English instructor at the city college I taught told me I should not teach English at the community college level. I then proceeded to go up to my Masters in English and I still plan to and want to teach English at a community college.
    If I can prove her wrong, then this should be a piece of cake or pie.  I am one of those people I can't do something I then become bound and determined to do it and what they want me to do all with a smile on my face.  So readers I ask you have you had others put you in a box in terms of your identity and what your "supposed" to be doing with your life and if so how did you get out of this box and prove them wrong?

The journey for independence...

   Well, I have recently become unemployed from a job that I was working about three months. The thing is that I am 28 years old and I live at home like most college graduates or graduated graduate students in this recession because trying to move out on your own is expensive.  Also, while working where I was it felt like it made a dent on most of my friendships and relationships.  Furthermore, the place I was working was just not a good "fit" for me. I was actually relieved when I became unemployed because it felt like I got my life back.
    Well, apparently what I had thought was wrong, I don't know if any other people my age or going through this where your parent wants to know everything going on with your life every damm hour of the day. Today I engaged in a one sided version of 20 questions where I was grilled about the time I was spending looking for work and how it wasn't enough.  I didn't say anything in response because frankly I did not want to and I am thinking if my parents ever want me to become an independent person leaving me alone would be a good thing. The last time I was unemployed I had this same sort of micromanaging and its not like I don't want to look for work. I would like to find a job where I am happy and don't dread going everyday.  I would like to be strategic and set up the right moves so I am not put into a checkmate.
     I just wanted to do things slowly and recover from everything that happened. Also I wanted to do things differently such as being more involved in work organizations, volunteering, networking, and applying for jobs with all my free time. I just want my life back but I would like to have fun at the same time such as catching up with friends, working on my relationship with my bf, catching up on reading, listening to music and if time allows watching a movie.  I want my life back or some semblance of it but I would still like to be a self sufficient person at the same time or work towards being that self sufficient person.  I am just wondering why I can't do both or why I have to do just one.  I am wondering readers out there if you are facing these same sort of job and economic conundrums?

A comparison of Sorkin's "West Wing" and Palladino's "Gilmore Girls"

      Well all this post reveals to me is that I watch way too much television. But the interesting thing I have discovered in watching most of the first four seasons of  Aaron Sorkin's "The West Wing" and Amy Sherman Palladino's "Gilmore Girls" is that while these shows may have different themes among them, their are many commonalities when it comes to the pace of these shows. For one both of these producers have a focus on the fast walking and talking while at the same time. Furthermore, the main protagonists in the show always seem to be in a rush or having a deadline to get something done, be it packing for Yale, passing a Bill, or getting the funds to a major brand name school.
   But even with these similarities both of these shows have very different themes. For instance with "West Wing" it is a democrats fantasy and escapism from reality since the show started in 2000 and ended in 2006 and about this time George Bush junior had been elected as President. Even though I would cut it off at 2003 because Soorkin stopped producing for the television show from season 5 to 7.
        The show "The West Wing" became to represent for some democrats their version of White House life that was ran by liberal democrats who just wanted to help people, and not try to sacrifice their moral integrity in the process.  This perspective can be further shown when one of the main character Sam comments that in terms of education that "The schools should be palaces and that teachers should be treated like kings".  This even more element in military skirmishes that take place in the situation room because our fictional President Bartlett played by the charismatic Martin Sheen does not want to get involved in wars with his fellow countries and at the very least wants to try to be diplomatic and peaceful before the United States is reduced to having to fight against another country.   These would be seen as tenets of a president with seemingly liberal democratic leanings that Soorkin is notorious for portraying in all of his television shows.  This show takes a political commentary hope for viewers while giving hope to fifty percent of population for a democratic president in the future at the time.
    But with this "Gilmore Girls" their are hints of political commentary, but it seems to be more of a social/cultural commentary in my opinion. I have seen all the episodes of this show two to three times over and I would exclude season seven since Palladino had no hand in producing it.  This can be seen in the episode "Application Anxiety" in season three where Rory gets her Harvard application and she and her mom are watching a Brady Brunch singing and dance special when that morning Rory has been reading Gogol's "Dead Souls".  There is a strong contrast between the high and low culture in this show, but the great thing about these figures is that they are smart and can adapt to both of these seemingly different worlds.  This can further seen by the contrast between Rory/her mom when compared to the grandparents.
      This becomes evident in season one episode six called "Rory's Birthday parties".  We see this contrast when Lorelai's parents throw Rory a high class catered party for their friends and her classmates, and the next night she has this casual affair with her stars hallow family and friends.  But even with the differences between high and low culture through out the show I think that they can be related to one another, the best example of this I can give is through fashion when the couture designs on the runway trickle down to the budget wears that one will find at the mall, Target and Ross.
      Now even though these shows are different in terms of themes, and similar in their approach, this has me wondering if Palladino and Sorkin have ever met.  I say this because I have seen Palladino's show "Gilmore Girls" many times over and the first season of her new show "Bunheads", and I have watched Sorkin's "Sports Night", "The West Wing", "Studio 60 on the sunset strip", and some of "The Newsroom", and they seem so similar to one another.
      Also I am wondering if these two should collaborate to make a show that is so good, that any major or cable network would have no reason to reject such a proposal.  But before this occurs I would like to know if anyone can find out if they know whether Sorkin and Palladino have met in the past, I have done my research online and have not found anything.  So if anyone has any information about this be it an article or expose please, can you please post it as a comment for this blog.  So readers I have to ask do you think Soorkin and Palladino should collaborate and make a kick ass show? Why or Why not?

A comparison of "Murder She Wrote" and "Castle"

  Well, I have been watching "Murder She Wrote" off and on for the past couple months, and have become obsessed with the fictional character JB Fletcher. She is charismatic, gets along with everybody, and always seems to know how to handle situations in a fair and delicate matter.  I think her show from the 1980's to 1990's  might have been the beginning of mystery writers being the detectives in a television and to my knowledge I had not seen this before in any prior detective shows.  Also she has a Sherlock approach through using her powers of deduction to solve her crimes.  Murder she wrote's first episode is even called The Murder of Sherlock Holmes.
      The issue with her show is that there are very few pursued romances throughout the show. (spoiler) We learn from the first episode that she has lost her husband Frank, who is referenced to throughout the seasons.  She is pursued many times through visitors in other cities, and it seems to be hinted at the Dr. Hazelick seems to be into her.  But I think this is the point I think she is trying to show that an older woman can be independent and not needing to lean on a man, unless she wants to or he adds on to her own experiences.  This can even be shown through some of the women who seem to be having a hard time of things and tend get blamed for murders they did not commit over the seasons, while being tortured and ridiculed by some of the older men . But with Castle they go where the evidence leads, and while they tend to jump the gun about who the killer is also, not a majority of the people falsely accused for murder are female.
    Another difference, is that in "Castle", it's all its about is the sexual tension, and the romance, and castle through his own networking with the mayor. This show chronicles their annoyance, friendship, and then love for one another. But, with Castle he tends to act like a child in an adult mans body, and has very little understanding of women as shown through the many conversations with his daughter and mother. Also he like JB Fletcher but maybe for different reasons is too afraid to ever delve into a serious romantic relationship. Actually, that might be Castle's issue he likes falling in love, and has a harder time actually maintaining the relationship. But , this show seems to focus more on romantic relationships when compared to murder she wrote.
      But its not like this show does not care about the fictional murders that occur has shown between the team work between Esposito, Ryan, Laney, Beckett, and Castle to get the truth of the matter in a case. Castle is able to provide a different, albeit sometimes crazy, and conspiracy theory based approach to solving some murders. However, this always fun and keeps the viewers on their toes, because they never know what to expect from Castle.
     But with both of these shows their may not be much difference in victims in both shows though, as they both show how much gender, race, and class will effect who be murdered and what their motive will be. The weird thing is that for some of these murders they were over things that could not be controlled, or because the murder is question made assumptions that were not really true.  (spoiler) I can refer to season  1 episode 3 of Castle where a model gets killed by her husband because he thinks she is cheating on him with a photographer.
    These two shows, reveal how the mystery detective is viewed from an older wise women to a ruggedly handsome Rick Castle, seems to be a forward transition, but as viewers what would we rather focus on the murders or the relationships, or both.   Or I should be asking do we need both, or would one suffice?

My average experience at hometown buffet

   I recently went to "Hometown Buffet" with my family to celebrate mothers day.  The food was average, not good, not bad never anything to rave about. When it comes to hometown buffet I know what to expect, its like an average burger place you know what you are getting.  I know that they might be known for their ribs and sliced meats.  I am still wishing they served chicken gravy, because it always tasted better than their beef gravy.
   Even with these downsides "Hometown Buffet" does have some perks. For instance they now have instant coffee , slushy, and horchata machines.  Also their is a whole rack filled with condiments to add to your food. Even with my expectations and these now added perks, the one thing that disappointed me this time when I went to hometown buffet was the service. The last time we were their are plates were cleared every couple plates. This time by the end of the meal, none of our plates were cleared at all.
    This too me is a sign that either that the local is understaffed or that our table was not a priority at the time. The reason this was such a faux pas to me is because no one wants to see their mostly eaten food when they are trying to eat a meal. I know, I don't anyway.  So readers I have to ask if you have had any better or worse eating experiences at "Hometown Buffet"?

The life I never had passing before my eyes...

  Well, I went in for a routine gynecology appointment with the hope of getting a birth control prescription for the year.  While, I was able to accomplish this I found out that their is a possibility that I might have endometriosis which could cause infertility in the future. I then discovered on my dad's sides of the family that it was a common occurrence with some of my aunts. I also found out that some of them had to have hysterectomies when they were in their 40's. The thing with this condition is I have to find out I can afford the laproscopy procedure and then determine whether or not to have it, and if it will have to make me figure out how I feel towards having kids.
     The weird thing was when I found this out I was more worried about how my bf might take it compared me. I was more worried/possibly a bit paranoid that me possibly being infertile might be a deal breaker so to speak. I really didn't care too much about how I felt about the situation. My main concerns are  having a career, and maybe getting married in the future, the possibility of having kids is in the back burner. I am just not sure to do when the future I am never sure if I wanted it or not in the first place started flashing before my eyes.
    This whole situation makes me more emotional and confused when it comes to the idea of having children. And I already feel like I can be too emotional as it is in some situations, and the fact that flo is coming to town in a couple days makes me more sensitive and moody about things then I would like to be. This situation also has me wondering if their have been other women out there who have these same mixed feelings about children and their future.  Also how did they deal with it?  As it is I can deal with either being on the fence or having a stance on an issue, as of right now I don't know how I should be feeling.

Commenting on fame

       Since the seventeenth century people have been writing about the scandals of others.  This can be  seen through Samuel Johnson's diary where he comments on the life and those around him. The need to talk about others is further pushed when newspapers began to comment on the personal lives of aristocrats.  This commenting becomes so prevalent in newspapers and magazines that even play writes such as F. Burney and R. Sheridan began to talk and comment on the lives of rich and famous in their satirical 1770's plays.
   Now lets fast forward 200+ years where becoming famous has become as easy as writing a blog, self publishing a novel, starting a fashion line, etc.  The ways to Warhol's fifteen minutes of fame are numerous, but how long one will stay in the spotlight is debatable.  However, those that stick around or forever commented on by bloggers and paparazzi. If you make a bad fashion choice, or end up in a bad movie role in a movie people will know about it and comment on it. 
   But these days bloggers, podcasts and the common man via twitter can now voice their opinions about movies and television shows. One positive of this is that people's opinion dictates how a story might turn out in the end in a television show.  But is this a good thing, because times even when a tiny show has become popular it can still be cancelled. The examples are numerous such as "Firefly, Dollhouse, Pushing Daisies", etc.  However, it has been such viewers that has been able to with such things such a "Firefly" and "Veronica Mars" movies.
    I think it might be a double edged sword where viewers dictate what is on television but at the same time they are not always able to do anything if a show or someone gets the axe in a television show.  (spoiler alert) A great example of this would be "Downton Abbey" where they killed off two of the main characters leaving viewers both mad and sad at the end of the third season.  The viewers had no control of this since we did not that their acting contracts had expired after three years.  So this has me wondering if people need this immediate feedback/commentary on a television show and their actors? Also is this feedback a good thing? And if it is why?
    I ask this because shows like "Pretty Little Liars" and "Gossip Girl" reveal how private information being revealed in a public nature can destroy lives. In the case of "Pretty Little Liars" they are blackmailed into behaving a certain way. While in "Gossip Girl" it is very voyeuristic with others watching and analyzing your every move in the spotlight. These shows seem to be commentary themselves on how even some private information of fictional major figure heads seem be off limits in the information age. But this has me asking why these figures, what is so important about them? Why them and not anyone else? So readers I ask if you have any responses or thoughts to my many questions.

This whole debate is garbage...

   I am currently residing in a city where there is a huge debate about who should be providing the garbage services for the city. Our mayor wants to switch over to a private corporation for garbage disposal services and will provide fees to help keep our broke city afloat.  The issue is that the city where I live has a unemployment rate lower than the states and I am all for public workers keeping their jobs rather than standing in line for  food stamps or unemployment.  The mayor last December was able to pass a bill to let the private corporations take over the garbage disposals for the city. The people of my city were not happy about this and neither was I.
   So their was a local petition started so that the people could have a say as to who does their garbage disposal services.  This then has made a bill that will be voted on June 4th, and the people will decide what they want. I think the reason the mayors public is annoyed by her trying to pull a fast one is that we had no say in who would be doing our garbage disposal services. Furthermore, she is getting rid of jobs in a city with an already high unemployment rate which to me seems dumb on her part.  Also with the privatization of their garbage disposal service people don't know if their rates will be raised, how good the service will be, or any of a variety of factors.  Also the public service that is currently in place people seem to like and it has served us well for over a decade.
   Finally, I think people are more comfortable with the evil they know, compared to the evil they don't.  While, I am for this service not being privatized, I can understand the city needing the funds, but all this has me thinking is that there has to be another way. If people can raise over millions of dollars to start a Veronica Mars movie, people would certainly raise money to invest in our fair city. My ultimatum to our lovely mayor is to please find another way to make up for the lost money in the budget that does not involve pissing off your constituency.  So readers I have to ask what to do you think privatize the business, or keep it with the same public service that has gotten good ratings and that the people are rooting for?  
   

The discoveries made through grief...

    I have been talking with various people lately and it has had me think about how much grief can change a person and those around you. For instance when a relative dies you begin to discover your true friends by those that are those for you, and by those who would rather you leave you in the dust be it due to denial or other reasons.  I have experienced grief many times through losing a boss, grandpa, and grandma. While, these experiences have not thrilled me I think they have made me stronger and made me want to make the most out of my life.
    However, as television can show us grief can have both negative and positive effects on a person. For instance in the show "Everwood", the grief of losing the mother figure gives the family a chance to come together and for the father and son to bond. However, when it comes to the show "Revenge" Emily's this sadness over the loss of her father is used a tool for anger and to enact revenge on her father for those that destroyed his life. But in the case of "Murder She Wrote" she shows the grief of her losing her husband making her a busy woman because she does not want to think about the soul mate she lost. Also, I think this holds her back because throughout the show from what I have seen she has never pursued a relationship with any of the older men on the show. This I think also has another purpose, which I think I can save for another blog post.  Also this has me wondering if someone dies if someones reaction to it is how they really are, or if its the sadness, anger, depression, and denial talking?
      I think it could be a bit of both. I say this because when my Grandma died I wanted to hide under my bed and cry for weeks on end. I knew this was not an option I had a thesis to edit and finish and I had to keep living life as a graduate student. I was a wreck for the first couple months after I couldn't even look at her picture from the program at her wake. I think I was more sad that I couldn't be at her side to tell her how much I loved her, I was never given the opportunity since she was cremated and had not left a will about what she wanted to happen to her body when she died. I still can't get myself to look at her picture, but even with the woulda, coulda, shouldas I think about the good memories we did have together. 
      Ok, now to stop myself from crying, readers I have to ask how have you dealt or deal with sadness such a family member or friend dying? Also what do you when those that you are close to have experienced a death of someone close to them? 
    

The importance of coffee

    I was recently watching a Jerry Seinfeld series about how he goes to have coffee with other well famous people. But one good point he made in an episode where he was chatting with Larry David "Seinfeld" creator is that coffee is short, sweet, and one is still able to socialize. Actually, for me it has been my go to thing if I am just getting to know some one. I think my rational is even if doesn't go well, then at least I can drown the day in coffee.  Actually I was hanging out with someone who I ran into a Starbucks, and got his phone number and have been friends ever since.
    I also went with him tonight to just grab some coffee at a Starbucks and catch up with one another, since both of our schedules have been well busy.  However, this hang out session tonight and the Jerry Seinfeld show I watched sort of made me have an epiphany about what a social glue coffee is. This can even be seen in television shows such as "Gilmore Girls" during the breakfast scenes they order their meals and catch up with each others lives over coffee.  This can even be seen in "Castle" because its a social connector between Castle, Beckett, Espisito and Ryan. 
  While, I think using coffee for a social lubricant is important, it could also cause strife based on how you drink your coffee. I say that because of their are those of use who prefer to add cream and sugar to our coffee. There, are also those who think an espresso is fine as it without the bells and whistles.  This debate could be further categorized by the place one is having coffee, if you go to a national corporation people might think your a lemming, while in other places it could be viewed that you are either well off, or a hipster, depending on the mood and location of the coffee house.  Who knew their could be all this debate over a cup of joe?

The many similarities and differences between Daria and Gilmore Girls

   I had been rewatching the shows Gilmore Girls and Daria for the past couple months and over this time I have learned that their are many similarities between these two shows. For instance the artistic side kicks of the main characters Jane and Lane. Well first of all the names sound similar and they are both really into music and making an impact on the world be it as an artist or musician.

http://tvquotes.net/show.php?eid=196&/show/Daria/character/Jane+Lane/episode/The+New+Kid/quote/I+told+you%2C+first+date+always+stick+with+vandalism+and+loitering.

http://www.gilmorenews.com/2010/10/01/keiko-agena-to-guest-on-house/

    
The comparisons do not end here though as the main protagonists are the two small town teenagers of Rory and Daria.  Also in both of these small towns weird things happen there. For instance in Lawndale a coffee shop was boycotted, and a football player who dies from a field goal poll.  Also in Gilmore girls their are festivals and fundraisers for a bridge that we never see,  and a bunch of weird characters like Kirk or Taylor always trying to find ways to make a buck in the town.  Actually sort of reminds me of Miss Lee from Daria given that he is a political figure of the town, who is constantly trying to maintain control over a town. While Miss Lee is always trying to have some semblance of control over her high school students. 
   Actually all the similarities between these shows made me wonder if Palladino had ever watched Daria and wanted to take a different take on a small town perspective.  I say this because the show Daria ended about the same time that the show Gilmore Girls started on ABC family.   I say this because while these shows have many similarities in their characters, they both have totally different perspectives on town life.  For instance in Gilmore girls people seem content to live their lives in Starshollow while all teenagers are dying to leave Lawndale and go off to college. 
       Also the family dynamics between both protagonists are very different. Daria is not very open with her family and tends to keep to herself and avoids town events like the plague. While, Rory is involved in all town events and is very close with all her family members.  Daria tends to be a realist, and not think highly of others while Rory seems to be the eternal optimist who thinks the best in others and gives people the benefit of doubt as shown through her relationship with Jess in season three.  So I ask you readers do you see any more similarities and difference between these shows and their significance?

The need for stuff.....

      I sadly since January have been trying to clean out my room of all the books, magazine, etc. that I have accumulate since making it through my undergraduate and graduate years. You do not  realize how much stuff you have until you spend an hour or so every week clean parts of your room for three months straight. However, my room while now stuffed with less stuff and mildly clean went through a major overhaul because it has been taken over by aunts. I even got so desperate as to move by bed and clean under there.  Sadly, I am still not done I still have to go through some things I have organized and find more things to toss, sell, or find a place for. It also has many thinking about an old Gilmore Girls episode from season four where Rory comments "Stuff! And it's your fault. You inculcated into me a tolerance for rampant consumerism".
      This sums up perfectly how I feel since it has me wonder why people, me included feel the need to accumulate so many things that they take over your room entirely. I oddly enough have picked up some of my dads minimalistic tendencies to occasionally have a clean space given that most days I am okay with working  in organized chaos.  This ritual cleaning has me think though about applying my situation to people in general who feel the need to accumulate until they have no more room to sleep in their bed, or worse turn into hoarders.
       The common factor in this scenario is items because once you have got an item you have to figure out what you are going to do with it, and what you are going to do when you are done with it be it toss it, recycle it, or give it to someone else.  I also think that their are so many options out  there for products that it easy to accumulate products whether they are cheap or expensive.  Another part is  that their are people out their who either A) like to collect items or B) discover the hard ways that they need beauty products, etc that are not expendable and help them maintain their current appearance.  My finally thought is if people buy items is it because they need them or because they want them? 

Apparently I am viewed as an easy mark....

   I have recently joined a networking club and so far I have had two experiences where two members have seemed to think I am easy mark for them to try to sell their wares.  My first experience involved me going to a local Panera only to get a thirty minute tirade on how I should spend five hundred dollars to start my own business. Soon after this experience I got out of their as quickly as I could and made a decision from that point forward to ignore the member who had suggested I join this multilevel marketing scheme.  I will be civil to this person but I do not like them since while waiting for this thirty minute introduction I learned more about them than I ever wanted to know, and that sort of jaded me from wanting to get to know them any further.
   My next experience was not as bad but  as I was trying to taking notes during a workshop one of the fellow members in the club asked me if I was open to my opportunities job wise. I was then given a business card and website to visit. I visited this website only to view a video about something was probably too good to be true and that also looked like a marketing scheme.  It is these experiences that have me wondering if I have the word rube stamped on my head and no one told me.  Also the point of the place I just joined is to network and make good contacts.
      But how do you deal with people you have figured out the hard way you do not want to network with even if you see them on a weekly to monthly basis?  I think it could be because I am one of the youngest members in the club or they figure I am desperate for money so they think I will get involved in sales to make a buck.  I am sorry to disappoint them but I would like to be able to sell myself through a resume and interview and work hard for my money through an actual job.  So this has me asking the blog-sphere have you ever had people you did not very well think you were an easy mark for some sort of marketing scheme, and if so did you ever do anything about it to show/tell them otherwise?

Defined by a relationship?

  Well, when I was been asked twenty questions by some of my students they asked if I was in a relationship?  I told them they I had a boyfriend. They looked at me like I had won the lottery. Which I guess in a sense I have I found some one who can live with my many neurosis and loves me any way.  However, for some of the teenagers it seemed like being in a relationship was a defining part of their identity.
     I guess I find this sort of clingy aspect weird because I have always viewed it that I was my own person out of said relationship.  I still like to do my own things, watch my own shows, and hell even hog the bed and still in some sense want my own space. Its not that I don't like this person in this space with me, it makes it better and its nice to have someone that banters and keeps up, if not I would be both lonely and bored, and frankly he is one of the few people I know who really gets me.  I just wonder why these teenager girls think there lives need to be defined by whether or not they have a boyfriend? I wonder why they are not focused on volunteering, going to college, or in some shape or form thinking about their future. Or at the very least if they do have a boyfriend their grades should not suffer in the process. 
       Also I think the reason this infatuation towards a guy is so foreign to me is because I have the anomaly of being in a relationship longer than most people have been married and I have an overwhelming fear of commitment and intimacy.  It took me tell about six months ago to be comfortable with the idea of being engaged.  The one good thing is my boyfriend has similar fears as I do so combined we might make a normal healthy person in a relationship.  We both have our own reasons for feeling this way but we get each other none the less.   So all this reflection has me wondering for those single and coupled up do you ever feel defined by your relationship or can you be your own person even while being in a relationship?  And is their some grey area between these two point of views?

Murder she wrote and the art of networking....

   Well along with being a total nerd I am also obsessed with most mystery shows such as "Elementary", "Sherlock", "Castle", and "Murder She Wrote".  Most nights to fall asleep rather than watching mind bending Fringe I will watch Murder she wrote because its slow paced and character driven in comparison to most other television shows.  One thing I have learned over the past couple months of watching "Murder She Wrote" is that she is an excellent at networking. She keeps in contact with her past students, publishers, and friends from high school. Please bear in mind in this fictional world she is a busy write with books tours, lecturing in colleges and high schools, and occasionally trying to take vacations when she is done with a novel.  Also no matter where she is she is always friendly to people and acts like she has known them for years even if she just met them.  I think this gregarious behavior that I have come to admire could be applicable in terms of actual networking.
    I say this because I am still working on my networking skills I have yet to be able to start random conversations with people I hardly know, truth to be told I sometimes I have a hard time carrying on a conversation with people I have known for years because their is a) nothing to talk about or b) its hard to come up a conversation topic one can debate or talk about for hours.  However, as I try to slowly increase my networking circle the introvert that I am I have learned to talk with people without interrogating them, and have even bonded with some of my CVP members this way.  I think my issue is I need to get over my hurdle of being nervous around others and make more of an effort to discover peoples interests, like, dislikes and try to find some common ground.  Furthermore I need to improve with my follow up, I do it with my friends because well I want to see them, and when you meet someone who gets you and your neurosis and is still ok with it, then you are not about to leave that.  Also with these people I can joke and laugh for hours and time seems to fly by. 
      I need to try to apply the way I act towards friends towards other people. I need to take a JB approach to network through being nice to all people I see whether I know them or not, and to keep in contact with those people who I like and have some common interest or bond with. Alright, so my question for this blog is if any of my readers have learned anything about networking from a television show, or did they pick it up through actually going to networking events, etc?

The return of the nerds and very odd references....

    Well let me preface this post by saying that I am a total nerd and our group of people as seems to be underrepresented and put down since the 1980's. Oddly enough my defense for this is most television shows such as "Family Matters", or "Saved by the Bell" was the nerd was always picked on or not seen as "cool".  I never had a problem with this I guess because these nerds were either A) full of themselves in the case of Urkel in some situations or B) did not care what others thought of them as in such cases of  "Revenge of the Nerds" in which we were able to fight back.  Also I have been a nerd, geek, whatever since junior high so I was very comfortable with my identity even other people thought I was weird it was an identity that I become accustomed too.
    However, the odd thing is that over time nerds through television and in life have become "popular".  One change we can see towards this point of view is was through a movie I was watching last night called "Can't Hardly Wait" in which the nerd becomes rich and is dating a super model.   A further indication of this can been in "Gilmore Girls" with Rory she might be a geek but she has a support system through her mother and the whole town of stars hollow. I think the nerd popularity really began to flourish through the show "The Big Bang Theory" because this showed nerds whole while they may have been picked on they were very successful and social people.
   But it was from this show and many others we discover that their are various types of nerds such as the foodies, the D and D fans, the video game nerds, manga etc. While I am sure many of us nerds and geeks have various interests that we like to stay updated on in my case it would be food, fashion, books, and most television shows.  So I guess this whole post leads me to ask you readers what type(s) of nerd are you and why?

So tell me about yourself...

   I was watching this show called "The Middle" and one of the characters Frankie was asked to tell the interview who is Frankie?  The same question has also been asked in the "Nanny Diaries" and the main character gets so freaked out by this question she runs out of the room.  Also as a job seeker this is a question that even stumps me and today as I went to my last workshop while looking for work I learned about this website called Reach 360 which is supposed to help you  figure out how you view yourself and how others view you. I think the reason this is such a tough question is because one does not want to seem like they are pandering to the interviewer while at the same trying to be their natural authentic self whoever that is.
    Their also is a philosophical outer laying to this question such as how well do we know ourselves and how well do other people know us?  I think this question of tell me about yourself just leads to other questions that some people might be too scared or in denial to answer. For me the only reason I guess this question is an issue is I keep on getting older and the world keeps on  becoming more fast paced, it becomes harder to answer this question. Also most people can find out this information through most social networking sites making it even harder for people to interact with others face to face.
       Also my last interview was a while ago so I am very rusty with giving in answer that is both authentic and some what rehearsed because I already feel like a nervous wreck. An interview seems to me to be like a first date where wants to put their best foot forward and be honest while at the same time not revealing every little detail about your personal life. Now you need to keep in mind I haven't had a first date in over a decade but my assumption is that nervousness and worry one faces during the first initial meeting of someone new has not changed since then. I think it is because of these many reason that the question tell me about yourself is such a toughie. Considering I just spent this past post giving the many reasons that people avoid this question, even me. Truth be told even after all this reflecting I am still not sure how to answer this question.

Whats love got to do with it?

  Not to be tangential but while I was in the car with a friend of mine, he started complaining about having to write articles about masturbation, oddly enough for a blog. I then started asking him about the types of sex he had to do articles for this blog and how in-depth he had to go. This then he led me to ask if they had to do any articles about relationships. The funny thing was that this person liked to write more articles about relationships then sex. I find this funny because one assumes that as a men that writing about sex would be more interesting than say relationships. However this person does not meet the stereotype at all given that prior to being a man they were a woman, which add a whole new layer this conversation.
    Also it had me thinking about on views of sex and relationships and  strangely enough as a woman sometimes I care more about sex. I view sex though as the means to help the relationship flourish and keep things going. I also view the relationship as important for being able to talk to one another, laugh, and maintain intimacy.  This debate just has me wondering what matters more the sex or the relationship or are they both integral to maintain what would be deemed as a normal relationship. I am not sure about this as the sex and the relationship for me tend to bleed into one another. This is also a question of mine because in this hookup dating culture that has tended to permeate the younger generation in which giving and getting head seems to be part of the first date ritual, and the view of  old fashioned courtship seems to be an outdated method. I am just basing this off of horror stories about first and second date stories that I have heard from various friends and acquaintances who will remain anonymous.  So I ask you readers should I even be debating the value of sex and relationships or is it like comparing apples and oranges?

Stuck in a world between old and young, while emotionally eating all the while

   My worlds have become very opposite in my work world I feel too old compared to my colleagues who are trying to finish their BA degrees while in my networking group I think I am viewed as one of the young ones so far. I have not made it to a monthly meeting of the networking group so I won't have a good idea about how many "young" people are in the group tell then.  So far I have only counted two me and one other person. Also in dealing with the stress of hunting for a job and joining job groups I have been emotionally and stress eating and for someone who has been trying to lose weight for way too long this is not a good idea. I have noticed I get started and then something happens and I return to my bad habits.
    Well at least I am noticing a pattern. My plan tomorrow is to at least go back to counting calories. I plan to include exercise when my schedule is more routine tell then I will probably walking every day at least. Also I need to continue avoiding the scale for a while because I saw the numbers this morning and I was not happy. I am  edging way too close to what I weighed before. At least with yoga last semester I was able to maintain my weight.
   I think in trying to lose weight and get a job the stress of it all is telling me is I need to find more healthy ways to deal with stress no matter how little or big. So that way I can lose weight and have an income. I need more impulse control. I am hoping once I have adjusted to a "schedule" of some sorts that I will have an easier time with the job hunting and losing weight. Readers any thoughts to accomplish any of these small goals would be much appreciated...

The art of putting yourself out there...

   I recently joined a networking group and will have my graduation day tomorrow, yeah.  It has been an interesting experience to say the least. I have met some very enthusiastic and passionate people. However, given that I think I am a ambiavert I tend to save my enthusiasm for certain situations and be quiet or nervous in situations when I don't know the person all that well.  I didn't know whether I should be scared or impressed by their energy. I am one of those calm go with the follow kind of people but I will freak out on occasion given that I am human. The one thing I can comment on this whole experience so far is that I won't have time to be in a funk with all the resumes I will have to be writing, places to apply to, and practice interviews to do while still figuring out what I plan to do with my life.  I have gone from having nothing to do to thinking I am going to need a planner to keep track of my "new" schedule.
     I am just hoping I can keep up with it. I have been attending these early events while getting over laryngytis since apparently I am a masochist. I will be glad to get to friday and my bed and sleep, as much as this experience as woke me up in a sense. However, this waking up while a good thing, is not helping with the getting sleep and feeling better part of my recovery which is all on me. I think after this sleep I can figure out somewhat what to do in this so called "transitioning" part of my life post grad school. Or at the very least come up with a vague outline of the stuff I know I can do without turning myself into a human tornado. I am curious are there any other people who felt this lost/wondering/confused once they were done with school? 

I am not sure if I have a dream...

     Alright for the networking group I am in we basically as a group with the help of a perk uplifting speaker who reminded me of a self help book in person form who wanted to help the group figure out what our ideal dream or vision was and how to get there. This for me is very confusing because I have just finished my education at least for now and their are many dreams I would like to accomplish. Also I know because I have goal or dream in mind, that does mean that A) I am good at it B) that I should be making a career out of it. I am at this point in my life where even if I have one clear cut dream and ways to get there that I need to keep my options open if I ever want to make a living and start a career of some sort.
    I don't view this as a negative thing. Also I know for any dreams that I want to happen that I am going to have to work for it. The one thing that the speaker and many of my colleagues did was give me ideas on top of my own ideas of how I was going to get there. But this is scary for me to because just because I want the dream and think I will be good at it, it does not mean that it will happen. I think my issue is that I am too much of a jaded realist and I have learned time and time again that what you plan for in life and what actually happens are two totally different things. I guess this might have been why I had a hard time buying into what the speaker was saying and thinking that if you envision it that it will happen, because life experience has taught me otherwise. So I am curious reader do think I should have taken what the speaker was saying with a grain of salt or just given this person the benefit of the doubt and tried to learn from them?
   

The quarter life crisis as seen in Take Me Home Tonight

      I couldn't sleep as per usual so I decided to stay up and watch a movie on Netflix. The movie I decided to watch was Take me home tonight, which I thought would remind me of other 1980's movies given that I have seen all the romcom classics For Keeps?, The Breakfast club, Some Kind of wonderful, Say Anything, etc.. However, even though this movie was placed in the 80's it came out on Mar. 4th, 2011. But this movie revealed the crisis facing those who have just graduated or those who have graduated years ago. I know this feeling, you have just finished your BA or BS, or were fired from a job you never liked in the first place. You have no clue what you are going to do or where you are going to be this job for your career whatever that is.
   Through the main characters in this film we were able to see this quarter life crisis of those who have no idea what the future holds. Now, I am sure for most people in their 20's this would be a bad thing, I however to believe to be a good thing, the world is your oyster and anything is possible. But, the prospect of this is terrifying to anyone, I can relate I plan to get my MA in English within the year and I have no idea what will happen after words, yet this thrills and excites me all at the same time. I think was necessary to see through Trish and Matt the main couple through this movie, that it is ok to not know what will happen in the future. Their relationship was further enhanced by the fun and light hearted songs such as the safety dance and "Come on Eileen" by the Proclaimers. I think these characters are like Ted from HIMYM and they need to realize that is not the destination that matters but that the journey is half the fun.
     But this hard to do as people in their 20s when they realize that when they hit 28 and if they go to a high school reunion people will be asking what they are doing  with their lives, and they will have to give an answer to that very annoying question. I think people especially people in their 20s like me fear not knowing the answer to this question. I know I do, heck I would probably avoid a reunion just to avoid this question in the first place.  I think maybe this movie is just trying to teach their viewers to shoot for something, even if they don't know what that something is yet.

Change is good...

       Well, I know that I have called this blog the bookworm for a while but it took me a while how much I have limiting in myself in what I post on this blog. Also as many readers have noticed I have been going through a reading dry spell that I am still trying to recover from and try to get back into reading small books, much less anything else. I have decided to change this title so I can have the freedom to post about the many things of interest to me such as tv shows, movies, cooking and possibly fashion. Also I can be very ADD so I figure if I have various things to talk about every week it won't seem so out of the ordinary. I do still plan to review books, it just might not be as often as usual.
       Also I have been in a sort of post graduate funk so my hope is that through blogging and other activities I can forget about said funk. Also writing on the blog is one of my few forms of catharsis. I am one of those weird people when I get into these movies I tend to re-watch a series, or movie with the hope that it will help me reevaluate a situation in a better light. Actually it was through re-watching Palladino's Gilmore girls that I came up with this title from an episode where Rory is commenting that her mom "likes washing dishes too. She's multi-faceted abnormal."(1.14. That Damm Donna Reed). I figured this was applicable with my multiple nerdy interests. Well I guess this is all for now, will try to post more later.
     

Post grad life....

       Well the good news is that I found that I got an A on my  masters thesis.  The bad news is as of lately I am feeling sort of lost and not sure what I am planning to do with my life post grad school. In the beginning I thought this was a good thing but apparently idle hands make me critical, add, and a little itchy whether I intend to be or not around other people and myself.  On top of my idleness I have been procrastinating stuff that I need to do such as cleaning my room, looking for work, doing the chores around the house, etc. I know how to do these things I think I have just been too mopey to do them.
    These feelings make me wonder through if there are any others like me fresh out of grad school wondering what the heck do I do with my life now?? I know I would like to teach  English at a community college but just because this is what I want to do, it doesn't necessarily mean that I would be good at it or that I should do it in the first place.  So on top of trying to achieve what I want to do I need to come up with backups in case things don't go as planned. I have to imagine what would I like to do with my life if I wasn't going to teach and I come up with too many options. I think the weight of everything to come is just stressing and freaking me out its like a quiet panic attack. I had panic attacks when I was a freshman I was hoping to avoid them now. I am wondering if anyone else graduating seniors or grad students are having similar mini panic attacks....Well thanks for listening readers and I hope to post reviews on books as soon as I get the chance.